Music and the Doctor
by TARDISTraveller
Summary: Series of songfics regarding our favorite Timelord and his beautiful, chaotic, amazing life. Prompts welcome!
1. Ordinary day

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: Ordinary Day**

 **Artist: Vanessa Carlton**

 **Rose & 9 **

It had been such an average day. Work, lunch with Mickey, just another day in the life of Rose Tyler.

He didn't seem too special, looking at him. Just a bloke adding stress to her day. But Rose knew there was something in those blue eyes that set him apart.

From their first trip out, Rose had been enchanted by the mysterious Doctor.

Just strings of 26 letters had changed her view of the entire universe. She had never felt this way about anyone; even Mickey.

They had only just met, but Rose would swear she had known the Doctor her whole life. She had seen all of time and space with him and they had shared so much more than a box.

He had showed her a better way of living your life. Running; chasing after her dreams instead of just standing on the sidelines.

The whole universe at their front door. All the time in the world.

Rose stares into oblivion. Fear. Worry. Sadness. Had this all been a dream? Rose can't tell what's real anymore. Was she still just a shopgirl living in the Powell Estate? Would she wake up one day and find that she made this whole thing up

Rose looks up and sees the Doctor standing in the TARDIS doorway. The smile returns to her face. This life was too good to dream up.

Still Rose thinks back to that fateful day. Such an average day. The sun rose and the sun set. The customers were annoying and the bosses were even more so. Yet magic entered the shop that day. Just a bloke. Just a guy. But he held starlight in his eyes.


	2. Astronaut

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: Astronaut**

 **Artist: Simple Plan**

 **The Doctor**

The Doctor staggered wearily towards the TARDIS doors. A dull, empty ache had entered his chest long ago, but in the past few minutes, it's intensity had tripled until it was impossible to ignore. He had just been ready to set sail for a trip to New Earth when 'the thoughts' came. The selfish, pitiful thoughts that often kept him from sleeping. Usually he was able to push them away; ruck them in the back of his mind. But sometimes they forced their way to the front. Sometimes he succumbed to their desires.

So he sat in the threshold of the TARDIS, legs dangling dangerously over the edge as he gazed into the darkness of space, letting it consume him; letting the stars take his mind. How had he ended up like this? So lost. So sad. So...lonely.

All he wanted was someone to come and take him away from this terrible existence. To hold his hand. To listen; to be with him; to not forget him.

He couldn't be the only one in the universe who had lost everything. He couldn't be the only being that didn't have a home. Could he?

The loneliness had gotten a hold of the better part of his mind. He had allowed it too much freedom and it was all becoming too much. Even the travelling and the 'saving the universe' stunt was looking dismal to him. What made him think, on that day oh so long ago, that going out into the stars was a good idea?

The Doctor stood, hands gripping the TARDIS doors so tightly that his knuckles shone white, and looked deep into the nothingness of space. Somewhere, someone out there had to feel the way he did. Someone had to need him. Someone. Anyone.

The Doctor took a step away from the doorway and gave one last look into the black sky. Slowly, achingly, he shut the doors with a silencing 'click'. The TARDIS cooed softly to her thief as he shot a quick, sad smile towards the Time Rotor.

As his feet carried him to the Console, his eyes fell onto the bright screen showing where they were currently and where they were set to go next. Earth. London. Any time. London always felt a bit like a second home. Maybe they'd welcome him with open arms.

With one final look at the TARDIS doors, the Doctor pulled the closest lever and set the Time Rotor into its initial vertical ascent. Maybe landing would bring him to a land of friends. But maybe it would bring him to a land of 'used-to-be-friends'. He silently prayed it was the former.


	3. A Place in Time

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: A Place in Time**

 **Artist: Amanda Abizaid**

 **Tenth Doctor and Rose**

The Doctor stared into the empty air where his beloved Rose had been standing just 24 hours before. He hadn't properly grieved over her, with all the Donna nonsense going on, but now it was just he and the TARDIS. He closed his eyes gently, taking in a shaky breath as images of Rose fluttered through his mind. The first time they met. The first time she had smiled at him. The first time they had hugged. Such a long time ago, yet it felt like only yesterday. It was still so real.

The Doctor stood abruptly. Lamenting was pointless. He knew they'd find each other again. They had to. They would reach across two universes and they would take each other's hand. It was going to happen. They would travel again. Someday.

And yet...the memories kept on flooding. He couldn't put up a fight anymore. The look in her eyes when they ran. The warmth of her hand in his. Their racing heartbeats pounding out the same rhythm. A lifetime ago. Yet no time at all.

The Doctor turned his gaze to the top of the Time Rotor. He and Rose. It was meant to be. Right? Doubt crept into his mind. What if they never did see each other again? What if he was wrong? The Doctor shook off this negative thought. He would find her. Or she would find him. Their time would come again. They would own all of time and space once more. Just the two of them. The Doctor and the Shopgirl.


	4. Drops of Jupiter

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: Drops of Jupiter**

 **Artist: Train**

 **Jackie and Rose Tyler**

Jackie welcomed the two weary travelers into her flat with open arms and ready eyes. It had been so long; too long, since she had seen her beloved Rose. She had even started missing the Doctor, as crazy as he always made her. Now Rose was here and sitting having tea and sharing her adventures again. A better present than any jewelry Jackie had ever received from any bloke she ever dated.

Right away, Jackie noticed something different about her daughter. The girl who had always had an argument for her; who always had some quick little remark; was now silent. Patiently, Rose was listening to every little story Jackie was telling her. When Rose did decide to speak, her words rang differently through the air. There was a kinder, wiser quality to them. She no longer spoke simply for the sake of speaking.

Jackie's mind began racing. Where had they gone? What had Rose seen? Was everything really as amazing as she believed it was?

Had Rose fallen in love? Was the Doctor taking care of her? Was she safe? Did she miss home, just sometimes? Did she miss her mother?

Jackie stood beside the window, sipping her tea, as Rose rummaged through the pile of papers on the table in front of her. Jackie turned around to find her daughter reading a National Geographic, her eyes full of interest and knowledge. "You never used to read those. Said they were boring."

"I've changed my mind about some things."

A smile flickered on Jackie's lips before a new worry entered her mind. What if she wasn't good enough for Rose anymore? After all, the Doctor was so smart and handsome and all of time and space had made Rose so smart and wise. What if she didn't need her old Mum anymore? Jackie silenced her mind as Rose began telling a story. Such a sad, inspirational story. Instantly, Jackie knew that the travelling was for the best for her Rose. She had to make her own way in the world. Of course she had to.

"Are you having fun travelling?"

Such a simple question. Yet encompassing so many other questions at the same time. What Jackie really wanted to know was...was her daughter having a better time than she used to? Was she finally enjoying life like a nineteen year old should?had she found what she was looking for?

As Rose finished her tea, the goodbye became inevitable. Jackie took the empty mug to the kitchen and began scrubbing. "Don't have tea in space, do they?"

Rose shook her head at her mother. The simple things. That was what she missed the most. coffee and alarms. Phone calls that lasted all night. Those were the things the TARDIS didn't really supply.

Rose stood and nodded to the Doctor. He instantly nodded back and made way for the TARDIS, leaving the door open as he sped out. Jackie came into the room as Rose stood. "Time to go?"

Rose nodded her head in agreement and hugged her mother. Jackie squeezed just a second too long for it to be a normal hug. Rose knew exactly what this meant. "Mum, it's fine. I've got the Doctor. We're best mates. He's a god guy."

"I know. Just...be careful. Have fun."

Rose dashed out the door and ran down the steps after the Doctor. Jackie watched the spot where he daughter had defended for a few minutes after Rose had disappeared. All of space. All of that majesty. And her daughter was out there. Becoming so strong. So brave. So smart. It was a wonderful opportunity, but it left broken hearts in its wake. Everything worthwhile did.


	5. Arms

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: Arms**

 **Artist: Christina Perri**

 **9 and Rose**

 __A month in Rose's time had passed since the Doctor had first told her to "Run" in the basement of the department store. Still his mind was a rush of confusion whenever he thought about the young shopgirl from London. She was so ordinary. So human. So young. He was so weird. So alien. So old. What had made her capture his hearts? Why was he so mystified by her? She had turned his world inside out the very first day they had spent together. What was to come of this?

And yet...when they had hugged; when they shared a smile; it was impossible for him to feel alone. She had become his home. It would've been so easy for her to leave him on his own. He was such a difficult person. But she stayed. The wounded soldier with no family had found a home in a shopgirl from London.

He cast away these thoughts. It wouldn't lead anywhere. Of course it wouldn't. He was a Timelord. She was a human. It would only end in pain. It always did. He could let her save him for now, but in the back of his mind, he knew it was only a temporary life jacket. He couldn't swim alone. He had to keep her away. Keep a distance.

A part of him didn't want distance, though. A part of him wanted Rose to see how hard he had already fallen for her. He couldn't let her get too close to him...but he couldn't keep her away. She was his home now. His only source of pure joy. He had to risk future pain in order to enjoy present happiness.

Still doubt raged through his mind. The world seemed to crumble with every step he took. He couldn't save everyone. He couldn't protect her. He loved her, but without him she would be safe. She would have her own, beautiful, human life.

Every time she touched him, he was reminded of why he allowed himself to love. Love was the light in his dark ship. To see it, yes, he had to risk being caught in a wave. He had to risk being swept up in a storm. Lost at sea. But by staying under the deck in his little lonely hole, he was risking so much worse. He was risking starvation and sickness and darkness. If he didn't go up on the top deck now, his eyes would never be able to adjust to the light of day.

He had never let her know how much she meant to him. How she had lit up his dark world. He couldn't reveal that weak, fragile part of him. His hearts couldn't bare it. But then she had hugged him. She had brought him home. She didn't have to. Nobody was making her do it. But she had.

He was already lost in her love. Already besotted. Already too involved. So why would he hide anything from her? Why wouldn't he let her know the truth? She was his home. Gallifrey was gone. His home now lie in the only place he felt truly safe. Her loving arms


	6. Hopeless Wanderer

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: Hopeless Wanderer**

 **Artist: Mumford and Sons**

 **11 and Clara (during the Snowmen)**

After the Ponds, it had been so difficult; impossible, really, to keep saving the universe. Because the universe had cheated him. Had made him into a liar. A liar to Amy and Rory. A liar to their parents. The lie that he could keep them safe. But he had to keep going. He had to come out of the web of darkness he had weaved himself into. So he left the darkness. Took another case. Still he was distant, but he was making a start, at least. _  
_Clara. That's really what made him come out of the darkness. This impossible, kind, adventurous young girl. She had told him to remember her and remember her he had. His heart was still heavy with the weight of the Pond family, but his salvation had arrived. His fresh start.

Clara had shown him a new way to see the world. It wasn't as dark and cold as he had been thinking lately. He had pushed his love and care away. He had become a reclusive monster. His heart had grown cold in the winter of his isolation, but Clara had given him a hand to hold. She called after him and joined him. She had become his friend when he needed it most of all.

Even with Clara's help, though, the Doctor struggled with the call of the darkness. He could stray from the right path so easily, he knew that now. _  
_He had fought so hard to make himself accept what had happened. To force himself to be okay with everything he had done. Everyone he had lost. But he wasn't alright. He couldn't be. When he had lost his friends, he had lost himself.

Finally he began to feel the warmth from Clara's shelter. His life that had felt so pointless was now all he needed to be happy.

Whenever the Doctor finds himself drawing into seclusion, he remembers Clara. The hope she brought him. The fire she had relit. The travels they had together. We're having together. Would always have together.

He still had a long way to go before he fully appreciated his life, but Clara was there to catch him when he fell. He would learn to love his life again. He would. He had to. She would help him do that. His impossible girl.


	7. Young and Beautiful

Music and the Doctor

Listen to this while reading:

 **Song: Young and Beautiful**

 **Artist: Lena del Rey**

 **12 and Clara**

They had been having the time of their lives. Young (At least, he had looked and felt young.) Carefree. They had seen everything. Done everything. Nothing was out of their reach.

The crazy adventures. Running and chasing and laughing like nothing could ever go wrong.

Now it was different. He was older. More tired. Less of the spry young man she had often to know. Would she still love him? Of course. Of course she would. But doubt is a funny thing. It turns even the most assured facts into nothing but hopes and wishes.

He's already seen it all. He's been the hero. He's was like a rockstar and she was his muse. They had known each other so well. Why did everything have to change?

Would she still see the hero in him? Would she stay with him till the end, like she said? Of course. Of course. But he wasn't her handsome boyfriend anymore. Could he believe his wishful thinking?

He can't live without her. Never. He can't lose her. She was his sunshine. The only light in his dark life. She can't leave. She can't.

Would she actually forgive his new appearance? Would she keep on healing his wounded soul? Of course. Of course.

But doubt is always there. A faint voice in the back of his head.

She could leave at any second. She doesn't have to stay. She could easily go home and never come back. He's not her beautiful boyfriend. Would she still love him?


	8. All I Ask

**Listen to this while reading:**

 **Song: All I Ask**

 **Artist: Adele**

 **12 X River (Set right after THORS)**

The Doctor and River had been standing on the balcony for at least five minutes in absolute silence. The singing echoing from the towers and the muffled conversations inside the restaurant were hardly heard by the two time travellers. The quiet hung between them, forcing half-turned glances and searching eyes every few minutes. The Doctor peeked over to his wife once again, this time holding his gaze. The sinking sun reached its beams into her sparkling eyes; the shadows played around her lips and cheekbones. Already, night was approaching. Their final night. Just before he said something, the towers' beautiful harmonies bounced into his eardrums. He had nothing to say that was more important than the ancient songs currently dancing in the atmosphere. He and River had been there and back again. They had said those three words more than anyone could count. They had said goodbye even more.

The Doctor finally willed up his courage to speak, though his voice was hardly above a whisper. "Let's not think about what tonight is, eh?"

River nodded in affirmation silently, chewing her bottom lip. Tears threatened to escape her eyes, but she held them back with a quick smile. "You never did like endings."

The Doctor looked away, casting his eyes down to a spot on the ground below them. His expression was vacant. Ideas and words flew around his head, but none took hold or made sense. Somehow, his voice found him again. "Look, River," he turned to his wife, vocal chords hardly working. He had told her they weren't going to think about it, but the elephant was in the room; he couldn't just ignore it.

River reached for him then, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him close to her chest. His forehead rested neatly on her shoulder. Slowly, the Doctor's arms wrapped around her back. He was holding so tight it was like, if he let go, she would disappear. River simply ran her fingers through his hair and sighed, "Oh, Sweetie."

The Doctor straightened himself slightly, letting his hands loosen off of her back. Gently, he took her hand in his. She could feel that he was shaking and took his other hand. They stood like that for a moment, merely staring at the floor as their fingers intertwined. River finally looked back into his eyes, using her hand to turn his chin up. He was forced to meet and hold her firm gaze.

"River, you don't have to say anything...Please."

Her eyes shone back on him, penetrating his ribs, making his chest ache. He was sure she could see right through him. Usually averse to contact and closeness, he found a different reaction when it was River. He wasn't feeling awkward or shy. He was simply heartbroken. Nobody else had ever understood his life as much as she had. She had always been just as lonely as he; just as mysterious. Just as mad and just as in love. Nobody else in the universe equated to Melody Pond.

When he was sad, she was there. Even after her parents were taken, she had been the steady rock holding him together. He had taken her from her prison cell hundreds of times, but she had rescued him from an even greater prison; the prison he built for himself. Who could he go to after tonight?

The Doctor closed his eyes softly, bending his head down nearly to his chest. "I don't want it to be like this."

River's eyebrows creased slightly, wrinkling her forehead. "What do you mean?"

The Doctor shook his head and turned away, facing the towers. His hands gripped the stone balcony railing in front of him. The towers were still singing. An unconscious smile cocked his lips as he turned around. River's mouth parted silently in confusion.

The Doctor raised his hand off of the railing, tilting it out to her in the air between them. His fingers were still shaking and his hearts were holding their dull ache, but his eyes were light and his features were soft. River took his hand with her own and stepped towards him. He put his other arm around her, and she finally caught on. The music was playing and the Doctor never could resist a dance.

As their feet shuffled back and forth clumsily and their hands held onto each other for dear life, the Doctor and River smiled. Both of their eyes closed, trusting each other indefinitely. The Doctor softly muttered in his wife's ear, "This is how I want to remember us."

River nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her. "Me too."

The wind howled through the towers, and they sang their soft, reverberating song. The Doctor and the Professor danced for as long as they could stand, merely holding each other as the darkness took hold. The restaurant has quieted down significantly, so it was just them.

They stood side by side, hands resting beside each other on the railing, looking out at the darkened towers that stood in the distance. The wind had picked up and the song was no longer soft and gentle, but tough and uneven. Their dance had come to a slow end, each pulling away gradually until an agreement was reached.

"24 years."

The Doctor turned to River, his eyes slightly distant. "24 years."

River nodded. The Doctor watched her lips move silently in the moonlight. Her face turned just slightly to the side, eyes gazing downwards. Slowly, she rested her hand on top of his, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles. Some air escaped between her teeth as she tried to laugh. "Your hands are always so cold."

The Doctor blinked slowly, eyes unfocused as he gazed at their hands. A tiny smile almost reached his eyes. "River..."

He froze mid-sentence, mouth still open. Her eyes were big and sad and he didn't want to do this. He didn't want to ruin this moment. He couldn't. He couldn't make this sad and pitiful and bitter.

"How are your hands always so warm? You're practically a furnace! If you were a Time Lady, you'd have a fever."

The professor laughed out loud. The tension and stress that the situation had created seemed to dissipate almost instantly. The Doctor chuckled, too, but his mind was fixed on the woman in front of him. He was taking in every detail, remembering everything about this moment. The way her hair was outlined by the bright moonlight; the way her laugh and the singing towers harmonized perfectly, even for his Beethoven-trained musician ears; the sparkles of her dress dancing as she breathed; the creases around we lips as she grinned.

As much as he tried I put it out of his memory, tonight was all they had. And he might never love someone the way he loved Professor River Song again.


End file.
